but if you lose, philip morris gets your soul

I did something the other week that I am not too proud of. In fact, I'm a little worried about it.

See, I was at Asian night at 180 for... I don't know why, it was Winnie's idea... and I was minding my business, drinking something foofy and expensive, when a semi-attractice blonde girl with a bare midriff approached me. She was carrying this neat tablet pc-looking-thing and asked me if I was a smoker. Now, I had seen this ruse before at other bars and politely declined, but there must have been something in the air (gin, tonic, and hot Asian chicks grinding on the bar will do that to me) because I decided that I would go for the free Zippo lighter and say that I was, indeed, a smoker.

Before I knew it, I handed the girl my Mass driver's license-- I think the logic that went through my head was that I would be severing all ties to Massachusetts in mere months, so this couldn't bite me in my shiny, metal ass forever-- and within seconds a scanned copy of the license appeared on her nifty identity sucking device. I may have had to sign something confirming that I was a smoker and then she handed me my free Zippo lighter in Marlboro promotional packaging.

I woke up the next morning with an Advil-curable hangover and in a bit of a panic about what would happen to my driver's license and, more importantly, my identity, now that Philip Morris had it in their tar-and-emphysema-covered hands. I thought that a Zippo (it was an honest to goodness Zippo, as far as I could tell) was a pretty big thing to be giving out for free- there must be some strings attached. My friend Beth didn't help when she was explaining her theory at a party the following night. She postulated that the tobacco companies were in cahoots with insurance companies, and from now on I will be known to Met Life as Adult Male, Smoker. That would suck.

Personally, I prefer the theory on this website:

http://www.unfilteredtv.com/learn/one_news_article.php?id=8

Since cigarette companies get in trouble for unabashedly marketing themselves to children and the like, they've had to seek out other venues in which they can convince the populace to buy their death sticks. And what better arena for promoting their wares than at bars, which are full of people who are guaranteed to be of-age (or to have really good fake IDs, so buying cigs wouldn't be a problem for them) and are drinking anyway?

So I don't know. It's been a week and I haven't heard a word from my new friends in Big Tobacco, and I haven't noticed any suspicious activity on my credit cards nor spikes in my insurance rates. If the link above is correct, maybe I'll start getting some tobacco promotion in the mail at some point... but since I'm moving in a month, that may just go away.

Damnit! Now I want a beer.