canto-pop

Parties with my girlfriend are always quite unique. She is from Hong Kong but has lived in the States for... geez, at least 7 years... so any social gathering is bound to be an always-exciting mix of American and Cantonese customs.

Her birthday party last weekend was no exception. As I alluded to before, we massacred some lobsters (and that was delicious). Between all us gwai-tsais (white folk) eating the meat and the HK folk eating the tomalley, we polished off a good six of 'em in no time flat. Lobsters make a great (albeit costly) party attraction... there is some sort of combination of excitement and morbid curiosity by the partygoers as they watch their pending meals waving their claws and throwing up every defense they have against their fleshy executioners and the large pot of boiling water that will turn them from crustaceans into dinner. But the point of this post isn't about lobster-cide (or is it?)... I have thought long and hard about that topic and maybe I'll visit it some day (because it's not official unless it's on the internet), but until then, you can check out David Foster Wallace's take on the Maine Lobster Festival, as published in a recent issue of Gourmet magazine:

http://www.lobsterlib.com/feat/davidwallace/page/lobsterarticle.pdf

Anyhow, after a long evening of splattering tomalley all over the kitchen with a dull cleaver and drinking keg cans of Heineken and Johnnie Walker Black with green tea (it's all the rage in Hong Kong now), the conversation naturally made its way to strip clubs. For whatever reason I had mentioned that on a recent jaunt to a club with friends for a bachelor party, one of the partygoers managed to buy some... er... oral services from a stripper. The first question out of most peoples' mouths was 'how much did it cost?', to which I told them '$100'.

One of the females present (let's call her... JJ... and she was one of the Canto-crowd) became appalled. I thought- actually, I think we all thought- she was about to launch into a tirade about why paying for sexual services is an abomination, but her problem with the story was thus:

"He paid $100 for that?! DIU, you can get the full thing in Chinatown for like $130!"

(your second Cantonese lesson of the day- "Diu" is the favorite phrase of most Cantonese speakers I know- they're quite a crass bunch. AFAIK it's somewhere between 'shit' and 'fuck' on the curse-o-meter.)

...nobody really knew how to react to JJ's seemingly insider knowledge... so she continued to talk about how my friend got ripped off and then the various services he could buy in and around the Boston area for much better prices. I couldn't tell how her boyfriend reacted to this but he lit up another cigarette and moved to a chair across the room. JJ proceeded to drink more until the combination of her allergies to lobster and beer caught up with her and her boyfriend had to carry her home.

Anyhow, so if any of you are looking to get the 'whole package' at some point in Chinatown, now you'll know what kind of ATM withdrawal you'll have to make beforehand. Good to know.