you had me with 'hello'

Jerry Maguire was made for girls who want to feel like they can relate to a movie about 'guy stuff' and for guys who really like chick flicks but don't want to admit they like Hugh Grant.

Sorry, this f'ing movie is guaranteed to be on at least one of the following channels- TNT, FX, USA- every Saturday morning, and winnie insists to watch it every time it's on. Tom Cruise sucks.

I'm super, thanks for asking!

vessels

I realized today that the unbearable coffee from work today becomes much more bearable when consumed from a styrofoam cup.

I began developing this theory yesterday morning. I was a little early for work and too hungover to do a crossword, so I decided to take a quick detour to the Cracker Barrel that abuts my office. For some reason on Wednesday night I decided that a great way to get me to stop drinking so much was to drink up all the alcohol around the apartment so there's none left for me to drink the following night (it worked!). Anyhow, there's nothing like greasy eggs, a bowl of grits, and a bottomless cup of coffee to get you ready to face a day with greatly diminuished hepatic function. By the second or third cup of coffee, I realized that I never drink out of proper mugs anymore... the coffee at work is served in those waxed paper cups, a'la starbucks.

I don't really know where I'm going with this other than I hate drinking hot beverages out of those cups, just like I only like my beers in bottles or glasses or novelty chalices. There's some great insight on the matter of picking the right glassware for your beer on beeradvocate.com, but I don't know if all those rules apply to making mediocre work coffee more palatable. If anyone would care to help me explain why this is true, please chime in. I'm looking for chemists and thermodynamics experts.

Now... off to the Lowell Folk Festival for some pierogies, jamaican beef patties, and dieselbilly music. Smell ya later forever.

sell out with me, oh yeah

you may have noticed a slight change. no, i haven't lost weight, but thank you (quite the contrary, actually). every time you log in to your blogger account there's a little box that says 'make money from your blog!' i figured, hey, lemme try it out... and a few mouse clicks and social security numbers later, i became one of the millions of members in google's AdSense network.

why the hell would I do such a thing as that? well, first off, i have nothing better to do. and yes, the very remote possibility of my earning a few sheckles from the experience exists. but most of all I think I have some sort of blind faith in Google and all they do. I now exclusively use google maps to get driving directions and figure out where I am in the grand scheme of things. I have Picasa on my work computer and liked it so much I installed it on my mom's back home. I've proudly flaunted Google Earth as if it were my own to friends and coworkers who are inevitably blown away by the ability to seamlessly 'fly' from lake titicaca to tehran to malden (and I'm really jealous that they don't have a mac version yet). Google apparently just bought a company called Zazzle, which got me to consider putting a Focusin store up there (stay tuned for that). Oh yeah, and this whole choosing Blogger over all those other free options... I think my decision ultimately boiled down to the fact that Blogger is the spawn of Google.

So back to the AdSense nonsense. First off, if you don't even see it, good job. That means you're most likely using something along the lines of Firefox with ad-blocking extensions installed so your internet experience isn't sullied by the likes of fastclick, doubleclick (sorry, Kurt), and google cramming 'targeted' ads down your throat. If you want to know how to do this, a quick search with our best friend can point you in the right direction. I had to load up IE to get the google ad to appear, and when I first saw the relatively unobtrusive banner show up on the right side of my page, I still wasn't too happy. It sort of cheapens the whole experience (which google is providing to me completely for free, but still).

I'm thinking I'll keep the banner there for a little bit to see what happens. I believe it's google's policy to shoot me and anyone who is a member of the AdSense program who talks about the kind of revenue they're making from the ads like a Scientologist who blabs to the world the story of Xenu (here I am again with my Scientology-bashing!). I'm obviously not running this blog to make a profit- if I did, there would be a lot more pornography and pyramid schemes- but it would be kind of interesting to see if I make even like $0.50 off this thing. How about this... if I make any money off of the generosity of your beautiful eyes and oh-so-supple mouse finger, I will repay each and every one of you with an amount of beer equal to or greater than the amount of money I recieve from said payout. Get your eyedroppers ready!

Plus it's pretty fun to bait the targeted AdWords to see what kind of advertising links come up. So far, I have seen links for FREE CROSSWORDS and JOB SEARCH TIPS- both pretty relevant to what I've been talking about around here. So stay tuned! Let's see what ads google has for my step-by-step cleveland steamer instructions!

home shopping network

Read "It's the Kids. Lock Up the China!" from today's NY Times' Styles section and realize that it's okay to take stuff from your parents' house because everyone else is doing it.

Is it creepy that I Friendstered the model they mentioned in the article? Maybe the mention of her Brazilian-cut cherry underwear drove me to do it. She is hot, though.

tears of a clown

(rejected titles: "Cry, Cry Baby"; "Driven To Tears";"Big Girls Don't Cry")

As I mentioned earlier this week, I gave my notice to good ol' Ray-dog on Monday. (You knew I work here, right?) After much debate over whether to tell them really really early (like end of June) or really late (like standard two weeks' notice) I decided to take the middle ground and give 'em a little more than a month to recover from the shock and awe that will inevitably arise from my announcement. I'm not one for burning bridges- mostly because confrontation at any level gets me nauseous, but I also know that should I be in a bind after I finish my master's or for some crazy, Scientologist-induced* reasoning, I decide that the ever-exciting world of defense is the world for me, the option will be there for me. Or if I fail in whatever I may be pursuing over the next two years and the job market wants nothing to do with me, I at least know I could come crawling back to the ample teat of my former employer. Kind of like staying in touch with some horrible ex-girlfriend who will never get over you just in case your cup runneth so dry that you know... just maybe... man, that's nasty. Nevermind.

Some people were surprised by how well they took the news at work. Everyone knows to some extent that I pretend to be a rocker when I clock out of here, so when I told them that I'm getting a Master's in music technology, they seemed to think it was a really cool and appropriate life choice for me. Plus, since my announcement, I've had a handful of people come to my cube to reaffirm that I'm making the right choice in my life-- one guy said 'I wish I had something I really wanted to pursue thirty years ago and that I followed it.' Kinda sad, but in a twisted way it was good to hear.

Tonight is Focusin's last scheduled gig. I've left it with the guys that I would love to keep playing gigs here and there with 'em, so once I figure out my schedule in the fall we may set up a couple of long weekends where I come to town, we have a practice, and we play a gig or three. This should still give me time to do well in school, live my New York life (I think that involves dating Mary Kate and / or Ashley Olsen), and to pursue my own Joe Perry Project.

---

I don't cry much. Maybe it's a macho thing or maybe it's the fact that my hyper-rationalness is very good at making sense of any situation. However, the two things that have been known to wring out some tears from my steely gaze have been seeing people suffer and dealing with change... and there is also always an event that opens the floodgates. At my high school graduation, they had the graduating seniors march through a row of our teachers, from K-12, who applauded for us. That got me going. Then at my last collegiate squash match it came time to have our last meeting with the team and the reality of being done with college was triggered and I was reduced to a sobbing mess in front of my ever-so-macho teammates. And I've had at least one girlfriend move out on me and left me whimpering in a corner.

So my question is... what, if anything, will trigger the Next Big Cry? I've had three constants in my life since graduating from college that have defined who I have been for the past four years and that are all, in some regard, going to go away in the next month: Focusin, Raytheon, and Winnie. The move out from Malden will be rough, and we'll save talk of that for later. But what if one of the other Big Two triggers something? What if I realize at the end of Hypnotize tonight that there is the chance of me never playing that again and I become a sobbing baby right in the middle of Goss' basement? What about when they strip me of my security clearance that I worked so hard to obtain or on my going-away lunch at the 99s over a 22oz pour of Killian's Red and a side caesar salad and I hear Bill make his last awkward comment about that intern girl?

Maybe keeping myself in a constantly inebriated state until, say, I am safely locked in my old bedroom, the one in Dobbs Ferry, NY, that I moved out of in August 1997 and am returning to in August, 2005 as a plumper shadow of my old self... where nobody can hear me cry and I have all the porn I need to keep me company. I wonder if Owen found that Penthouse I stole in fifth grade...

Oh, I've found the perfect shirt to wear at my last day of work:

*I've decided to start blaming all the world's problems on the Scientologists. I'll save that rant for another day.

gods of rock

Here's a brilliant video about what it's really like to be in a rock band. You probably shouldn't watch it at work, or at least use headphones...

http://www.channel101.com/shows/view.php?media_id=801

meow

cat's out of the bag. just told section manager, project manager, and the woman i work with on that other project i may or may not have mentioned here about my pending school plans. my planned last day is august 26. kegger to follow.

16 across

sorry about lack of posting. the realities of my impending life change are really starting to set in, and rather than face them head-on i've chosen to whittle my days away by honing my crossword skills. (I've got maybe 70% of today's NY Times xword done...)

Okay, that's not entirely true. I've been realizing that school ain't cheap and have been exploring what I can do beyond the scope of student loans to help fund my life and my $3,000 a day faberge egg habit. Obviously one answer is finding some part time work, and the obvious first place Bennett has been looking is the Apple Store. There is Apple's 'flagship' store in SoHo which would be quite nice to work at being that it's literally across the street from where I'll be at school. I've also found some craigslist and monster postings that point to the opening of at least one more Apple store in the Manhattan area. I concocted a witty Apple Store-specific resume and iMpassioned cover letter but have yet to hear anything interesting...

BTW, please forgive the lack of witty links in today's post. I bought a bag of peanuts the other day and have consumed maybe half of said bag in the past half an hour. Is it possible to have peanut poisoning?

Anyhow, the always wonderful Christine has put me in touch with a handful of recruiters and, more importantly, offered me two brilliant (and probably obvious, but let's be honest- I'm a little slow when it comes to the ol' job search. why do you think I've been here for four years?) suggestions: 1) If I want to work at an Apple Store, the best way to get their attention would probably be to go to one in person. I sometimes forget life exists outside of the internet. and 2) Maybe I could find a job at NYU, a prospect which could not only lead to some sort of income but maybe a significant chunk taken out of my tuition!

I'm working on both. Also, I had forgotten about what slimes recruiters are (sorry, Christine... wait, are you a recruiter?) until I got a call from one who really knew nothing about the content of my resume other than the fact that it wasn't chock-full of buzzwords. Fine. Fixed. Unfortunately my line of work hasn't given me exactly a top-notch list of contemporary computer programmer buzzwords that are applicable anywhere outside the realm of defense contracting. And the guy hadn't even heard of Tufts. What a prick. Anyhow, if he can get me work, more power to him... but I'm not holding my breath. I'm really intrigued by the prospect of NYU-bound work.

I've also finally posted my poor car on the internet. Hopefully I'll be rid of her by the end of the month.

It looks like my move will be somewhere between my birthday (8/20) and Matt & Vicki's wedding (8/28). And after a lot of talk of scheduling at work this week, I'm really really tempted to tell 'em on Monday. That's a month's notice. Eek.

My intensive music theory class has had some positive side effects... I was able to sit down the other night with my Beatles Bible (best... investment... ever) and actually sight read my way through Strawberry Fields Forever and The Night Before. Wicked!

...and now I'm off to show off my mad mixolydian skills to Tony and to gorge on sushi as a way of bidding Yuri adieu. Hopefully I'll have more insightful blog posts in the future.

Love,
Bennett

50 ways to leave your love employer

Classes start the day after labor day- September 6. I'm flying Owen out to Oregon to start college from August 18-19. August 20 is my birthday, and Matt and Vicki are getting married on August 28 with a week of crazy partying in the woods to follow (greatest... couple... ever).

However, due to many factors that I do not yet feel comfortable discussing, I've realized that I should stay employed as long as possible to maximize my income before I head off to school.

For a while I considered Friday, August 19 to be an excellent candidate for Bennett's Last Day. Now that I'm scheduled to take that Oregon trip, though, I'm thinking about extending my employment here by another week. I could theoretically work until Friday, September 2, but that would involve an unpleasant amount of shuttling to and from NY and Boston, and hopefully I won't have a car of my own in the next few weeks, which could really complicate my shuttling schedule (but is a very very necessary step to be taken at this time- more on this later). I almost was going to tell work about my school plans this week, but many people talked me out of that and I'm glad they did-- I don't know if I could put up with 6 or 7 weeks of being publicly 'on the way out' and I don't even know if they'd let me do that.

I'm terrible. I've gotten really good at crossword puzzles- I almost completed today's NY Times puzzle with only a little help from my friends (at google). I really should tend to the work I have been assigned but I have one of those positions around here that people really don't care about. The interesting part of my work (the coding, which takes at least some level of thought) is basically done, now all I have to do is go through hundreds (thousands?) of text files and make sure they're correct. Arrgh.

So... do I tell 'em August 1 and leave on August 17? How about August 8 and leave August 26?

When will then be now?

Oh, about the car... so shortly after my car's whatchamacalit belt went all haywire, my car starts making squeaking sounds when turning. Actually there had been faint squeaks going on for a little while that I never got around to looking at. Well, it turns out my suspension's shot. At first the garage quoted me $1200 parts and labor, but I got a nervous call from the garage-master (?) yesterday that went something like this:

GM: Hi Bennett, how are you?
me: Doin' well... you?
GM: Good, thanks... but you won't be! ::nervous laughter::

It turns out that to replace my entire suspension would cost something to the tune of $2600 (this is an Audi, after all). The sad part is that maybe a couple of months ago news like this would have caused me to break down into a sobbing mess on the floor, but I've grown so desensitized to my car's maladies (I like to call them malaudis) that all I could do was laugh. So I'm gonna sell the fokker with a f'ed up suspension for well below the blue book value. Screw it.

And if you have any good karma / vibes / energy to spare especially after all the crap that went down in London, please send them to my grandmother, who could seriously use some now.

it's grrrr-8!

Here are pix from my trip to Philly last weekend:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/focusin/sets/551296/

I really have wanted to write a lot lately but my brain's been overloaded. I have been taking an intensive music theory course at NEC, guitar lessons, trying to plan for a gig that may or may not happen this saturday at the skybar with my band, and I've been trying to figure out the whole logistics of my big move that is approaching ever so rapidly. I got home from my crazy weekend yesterday and wanted to practice for my guitar lesson tonight or do my music theory homework but I couldn't commit to either so I just vacillated between the two of them and got nothing done. Now I have to hang my head in shame when I see Tony tonight and am unable to play the aeolian mode. Anyhow, enjoy the pictures and if you're around this weekend, there's a 63% chance that I'll be playing guitar with Jon's band and doing something with Focusin at the Skybar this Saturday night. Rock!